He should just know what I need….How come I feel so alone in this
relationship? Things are so much different than before we were
married. Have you ever thought this, felt this or maybe even said
this out loud to your man (or when confiding in your girlfriend)?
I have…. I used to think that if he loved me he would do
everything and anything for me to make me happy and he seemed to.
Then as time went on I just didn’t feel as special or as loved.
Do you ever wonder if HE may be feeling the same way?
You see, it IS in ingrained in men to please you…..that brings
them the most happiness BUT there is a secret to making that all
work. Men are not mind readers. You must share with them your needs,
Oh, sure at the beginning, in the first year or even two of the
“honeymoon phase” of your relationship it seemed that your every
need was tended to and you felt as if nothing would ever be more
important to him. Then one day the veil lifted and those special
little quirky things he did that made him so lovable made you
cringe. You are not alone and I can tell you that these signs do
not mean you need to start packing your bags or find the “new”
Oh yes, that secret I mentioned. The info I am about to share with
you I learned through a book (a research book of sorts) called “For
Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.
She wrote this book to help women understand what “we don’t get” about men.
She interviewed over 1000 men along with a nationwide survey, to help women
know that (yes can you believe this) Your Love is Not Enough.
Here are four more revealing facts about your man that will help
him feel deeply cared for by you (and will deepen your relationship
1.Respect his judgement. Now this does not mean be a silent
wallflower. But most men wish their mate wouldn’t question their
knowledge or argue with their decisions all the time. Men feel like
their opinions and decisions are valued in every area of their
lives EXCEPT at home (Ouch).
2.Respect his abilities. (Oh I know ladies we always seem to know
a better way …. or at least think we do)?. Have confidence in his
general abilities of learning, application, fixing, rebuilding,
repair etc. without having to do it OUR way…because we know it
and think he does not!
3.Respect in communication. Some things just push a man’s
buttons. This is about HOW we say, what we say to him. No matter
what we are saying, in the end it is what he is hearing that
Buffer what you say to him (be sensitive to how he may
interpret what you are saying…for Ex: instead of starting a
question to him with, Do you know? (which he interprets immediately
as you think he does NOT know)with “Suppose you had to do… ( or
plan, or start) something (then add)…Do you know how to? Hear how the
question is softened?
This is not about walking around on eggshells with your man…
but realizing that he has subtle sensitivities too.
(And don’t you want him to learn to be sensitive to you too?)
4.Respect in Public. The most painful thing for men to feel is to
be criticized or put down or even have their judgement questioned
in public. Hear this advice loudly ladies… “At a minimum, you
need to be supportive of him in public.” Even good-natured teasing
can be torture.
You want your man to love you and hold you up high
in his desires? Publicly praise him. Tell the world how wonderful
he is, how good he is at what he does (parenting, work, helping
you….whatever) and you will see how 10-fold this loving gesture
will come back home to you.
Simply put…respecting your man IS showing love to him…his way
(our way is different…ladies). We need to show him love his way.
To all you busy working moms….these simple tips will help you get
the love that you need from your man so you can feel
supported in doing what you do best for your family.
Remember to take a time out for mom today….you deserve it (and