Archive for the ‘Relating’ Category

Imagine a Life without Fatigue

I was told once by a friend of mine (who just happened to be a naturopath ) when I was about 25 ( pre kids) that most adults with kids are chronically sleep deprived.

Now back then at 25, I was not yet a mom, but I was riding high on the adrenals of my new career, putting in tons of hours…which set me up, along with my programmed “work ethic”, to begin the slippery slope into adrenal fatigue from workaholism.

I was so determined to succeed that I threw many of the great common sense habits of health and vitality out the window.

So today I want to share with you 5 great common sense tips that will help you regain your vitality plus a link to a great program (that is free to join) that will support you in stepping out from your ” mom world”  and learn about giving back the gifts that you were born to give the world.

Sleep. Resist the temptation to burn the candle at both ends! Getting 8-10 hours a night of sleep is one of the best ways to restore your adrenal glands. It’s best to turn in early if you can. Drink herbal tea or consider a natural herbal supplement to help you wind down. And if you need one and can, take a nap during the day.

Modify your exercise. Some of my patients feel great after they exercise. If this is you, stick with it. Others feel drained with exercise and it’s important to take it slow. Mornings are best for aerobic exercise but try not to let your heart rate go above 90 beats per minute. Try relaxing walks, yoga, or any kind of exercise that restores you instead of draining you.

Eat well and often. Eating certain foods, and at specific times of the day can help you avoid the “crash and burn” of sugar/caffeine highs and lows. One important point: a hungry body puts stress on the adrenals, so don’t let yourself go too long without a meal or a snack.

Relieve stress. Schedule a massage or enlist a partner or friend to give you one; practice yoga, t’ai chi or qi gong; put up your feet and enjoy a cup of tea; or call a loved one just to talk. Cultivate the practices that best relieve tension and stress for you. Even just five minutes a day of quiet breathing or meditation can do wonders.

Play. Take a good look at your life, and let go of as many of the things that drain you as possible, replacing them with those that fulfill you. Engage with the people, activities, and work you most enjoy: go to the beach, play with your grandchildren, go dancing — whatever you have fun doing, give yourself permission to do it during this time of healing.

*Special treat for you today: Are you ready to live your life with NO LIMITS?

Join Yours Truly, and over 30 other experts who are just chomping at the bit to help you reach your fullest potential:  No Limits Telesummit ( It is happening right now and as I said it is absolutely FREE to join).

Here is just a sample of what you will learn from the No Limits Telesummit:

Remember to scroll down the page and check out my video on Motherhood. My call airs Tomorrow, Wednesday May 7th at 10 Am PST/1 pm EST.
Don’t worry if you are busy, sign up anyways and you will have access to the recording.
Plus I have a special gift for all of you. Want to put the sizzle back in your relationship? For all those on the call you will find out how to get access to an interview called “Beyond Sex – Tantra”….it is telling, tasteful and tantalizing.
Join the No Limits Telesummit HERE
Have a wonderful Tuesday, take a time out for you, MOM
…and remember, ” When Moms Happy, Everyone’s Happy”

Mona
the “Busy Mom Mentor”

Your Love is NOT Enough

He should just know what I need….How come I feel so alone in this
relationship? Things are so much different than before we were
married. Have you ever thought this, felt this or maybe even said
this out loud to your man (or when confiding in your girlfriend)?

I have…. I used to think that if he loved me he would do
everything and anything for me to make me happy and he seemed to.
Then as time went on I just didn’t feel as special or as loved.
Do you ever wonder if HE may be feeling the same way?

You see, it IS in ingrained in men to please you…..that brings
them the most happiness BUT there is a secret to making that all
work. Men are not mind readers. You must share with them your needs,
lovingly.

Oh, sure at the beginning, in the first year or even two of the
“honeymoon phase” of your relationship it seemed that your every
need was tended to and you felt as if nothing would ever be more
important to him. Then one day the veil lifted and those special
little quirky things he did that made him so lovable made you
cringe. You are not alone and I can tell you that these signs do
not mean you need to start packing your bags or find the “new”
Mr Right.

Oh yes, that secret I mentioned.  The info I am about to share with
you I learned through a book (a research book of sorts) called “For
Women Only
” by  Shaunti Feldhahn.

She wrote this book to help women understand what “we don’t get” about men.
She interviewed over 1000 men along with a nationwide survey, to help women
know that (yes can you believe this) Your  Love is Not Enough.

Here are four more revealing facts about your man that will help
him feel deeply cared for by you (and will deepen your relationship
forever).

1.Respect his judgement. Now this does not mean be a silent
wallflower. But most men wish their mate wouldn’t question their
knowledge or argue with their decisions all the time. Men feel like
their opinions and decisions are valued in every area of their
lives EXCEPT at home (Ouch).

2.Respect his abilities. (Oh I know ladies we always seem to know
a better way …. or at least think we do)?. Have confidence in his
general abilities of learning, application, fixing, rebuilding,
repair etc. without having to do it OUR way…because we know it
and think he does not!

3.Respect in communication.  Some things just push a man’s
buttons. This is about HOW we say, what we say to him. No matter
what we are saying, in the end it is what he is hearing that
matters.
Buffer what you say to him (be sensitive to how he may
interpret what you are saying…for Ex: instead of starting a
question to him with, Do you know? (which he interprets immediately
as you think he does NOT know)with  “Suppose you had to do… ( or
plan, or start) something (then add)…Do you know how to?  Hear how the
question is softened?
This is not about walking around on eggshells with your man…
but realizing that he has subtle sensitivities too.
(And don’t you want him to learn to be sensitive to you too?)

4.Respect in Public. The most painful thing for men to feel is to
be criticized or put down or even have their judgement questioned
in public. Hear this advice loudly ladies… “At a minimum, you
need to be supportive of him in public.” Even good-natured teasing
can be torture.
You want your man to love you and hold you up high
in his desires? Publicly praise him. Tell the world how wonderful
he is, how good he is at what he does (parenting, work, helping
you….whatever) and you will see how 10-fold this loving gesture
will come back home to you.

Simply put…respecting your man IS showing love to him…his way
(our way is different…ladies). We need to show him love his way.

To all you busy working moms….these simple tips will help you get
the love that you need from your man so you can feel
supported in doing what you do best for your family.

Remember to take a time out for mom today….you deserve it (and
everyday).


the “Busy Mom Mentor”
Life and Health Coach


Learn How to Eliminate Overwhelm, Stress and Burnout Now

* Is Your World Crashing in on You? (good news for busy working moms)

What to do when your world feels like it is crashing in around you?
I know this is a common theme for a lot of moms……..this feeling
can sneak up on you and then BAMM, everything feels out of control.

How do you be everything for everybody? You know you want to and
sometimes you feel like you can do it all…but it just takes one
thing (okay 5 things) to tip the apple cart and there you are
feeling exhausted and defeated.

Today is one of those days. Let me share……(in readers digest
version of course):

*One daughter is approaching mid-tweens and is becoming rather sneaky
..ex: eating all little sister’s remaining Easter treats, comes clean,
little sister is crying.

*I am having empathy for one, while trying to make heads or tails of WHY the
other one would do that. The only answer from her is, ” I don’t
know”.

*The hubby’s children’s schedule was changed yesterday, his
EX pulls a fast one with her lawyer “all in the best interest of
the children of course” and he feels a myriad of emotions as you
can  imagine and I just want to stand on a soap box and say THIS IS
WRONG. Truly it felt like we were negotiating a house deal NOT a
co-parenting schedule…geesh.

*And finally, for you moms out there who are older, either pre-menopause
or right in it like me; No one ever said once I hit fifty, I was going
to wake up every morning and feel like I am 90. OMG, everything hurts! The legs, hips and
back pain is the most dramatic. (Guess I am fortunate….no hot
flashes, insomnia, or WILD mood swings (just moderate)….and on
every “menopausal forum” I find on line, all these women, like me,
are talking about these pains…BUT no one seems to be getting any help.

Trying to hold it all together in a big family…be the main
stay….is freakin’ hard at times. I GET IT.

K…. I am sure one or two of you can relate to me. The upside is
there are many things that you can do if your life starts running
away on you! The first step is this awareness of course. If you
don’t have the awareness, YOUR body will speak up…..I guarantee
it. So the key is to cultivate the awareness BEFORE you hit the
slippery slope.
Here is what you do…., if you are feeling frazzled at ANY point
in the day, this I can be a Micro Meditation of sorts….. or  what
I call the “ISNESS is the BUSINESS plan”.  There are 5 steps:

1. Think of a situation that is disturbing YOUR peace.
(could cause stress.)
2. Notice WHERE in your body you are FEELING it.
3.Give it LOVE (or at least acceptance)*Don’t judge or analyze -
don’t try to make it go away. Be with the feeling.
4.Zone into where it is most intense. (like a bull’s eye – stay
OUT of your head…stay in your body).
5.Stay present to it…if it seems like it is gone – then think of
the disturbing thought or situation – see if the feeling is gone.
(if yes – you have made it to the other side)

This can be done in minutes and the intention is to bring you back
to the NOW….back to what you are doing in the moment…because if
you are off in your head, overwhelmed with emotions with a floating to
do list in your brain….you are not present and can not be THERE
for anyone… This ‘Isness is the Business Plan’ can give you the
much needed time out in your day so you can collect your thoughts
and allow the feelings trapped inside your body to be  FIRST,
acknowledged and then they will leave.

Repeat this as many times as it takes, so when you think of the
disturbing situation you will NOT be emotionally troubled by it AND
you will be able to go into rational solution mode if necessary.
This phrase the Isness is the Business has become my Mantra and I
hope it helps you as much as it helps me and the clients I have
shared it with.

Have a wonderful Tuesday…..Make a Time Out for Mom everyday
(your family with love you for it …AND you will love them more too).

Mona McClelland
the “Busy Mom Mentor”

Ps. I will update you from time to time on my progress at handling
these awful Menopausal symptoms…man this is a whole new journey
into to health and wellness for me.  Next step….health food
store…to see how I can balance out what has now gone missing in
my body that its telling me loudly it needs. (I only wish it would
speak my language ….pain doesn’t always translate into English
that well….lol).

PPS If you haven’t heard it yet …why not? My Special Report  – grab it here – NOW.
“7 Secrets Every Mom Needs to Know to Instantly Eliminate,
Overwhelm, Stress & Burnout”

Beyond the demi-truths of our dysfunction ~ by Olga Sheean

When Demi Moore spoke about her fear of being unlovable and how betrayed she felt by her body, she got people’s attention (The Vancouver Sun, 5 January 2012). Women all over the globe were nodding in sympathy and agreement, knowing exactly how she felt because that’s how they felt too. Some felt relieved because it meant they were not the only ones to feel this way. But others felt much worse: if a beautiful, talented celebrity felt that way, what hope was there for ordinary people like them?

Yet what Moore is experiencing is a classic case of negative subconscious programming that has resulted in low self-worth, which has caused her to attract relationships that trigger, reflect and confirm her perceived unlovability. What she doesn’t seem to realize is that her subconscious programming is the only thing that needs to be addressed; she herself is absolutely lovable and deserving of love (and I personally think she’s wonderful). Even though she might intellectually know this to be true, however, her subconscious believes otherwise. And for as long as her negative subconscious programming is running the show (as it has been, up to now), she will keep attracting partners who fail to give her the kind of love that she seeks—despite her keen awareness of the issues. It doesn’t matter what I or millions of others might think about her, or even what Ashton Kutcher might think; it’s what she thinks of herself subconsciously—and demonstrates in her words/actions—that determines how much love she can attract, let in and hold on to.

The key to breaking this kind of frustrating cycle is to understand and work with the following seven principles:

1. Our subconscious is very magnetic and it causes us to attract very particular people, partners, challenges and circumstances, in accordance with how it has been programmed.

2. We have all been negatively programmed at the subconscious level—with negative beliefs, fears, guilt, expectations and low self-worth that leave us diminished, distorted, dysfunctional and disempowered. As a result, we compromise, have weak personal boundaries, are needy/insecure, and reject/deny/condemn ourselves in countless everyday ways.

3. A key component of our programming relates to our ‘missing pieces’—essential formative qualities, such as acceptance, trust, respect and validation, that we needed as children, in order to be complete, but failed to get. Filling in these missing pieces is the key to creating the love and the life we want.

4. Our missing pieces cause us to attract partners with the same missing pieces as us, which means they’re unable to give us what we’ve been missing and seeking all along; only we can fill in our own missing pieces and we must do so in practical ways, making ourselves emotionally complete so that we then attract a similarly complete partner.

5. Filling in our missing pieces means saying and doing things that DEMONSTRATE healthy self-worth, self-acceptance, self-respect and self-expression in our daily lives. It’s not enough to think positively or to have good intentions; it’s what we do and say to demonstrate our innate deservability (not what we think, feel, intend or believe) that changes our negative programming and then brings us what we’ve been missing all along.

6. Anything that’s not working in our lives—relationships, finances, career, health—is a direct reflection of the parts of our negative programming that are asking to be addressed; every challenge we face is a call to empowerment, in the context of our own particular programming and missing pieces.

7. Our programming is the very thing that gets in the way of us realizing that it’s the very thing that’s getting in our way. Transforming our negative programming in practical ways is the most powerful, effective way to create what we want.

So, rather than telling the world how unlovable she feels, Demi Moore could set a powerful example for others by getting down to the deeper truth of her dilemma—and by filling in her missing pieces so that she starts to attract the kind of partner she really wants and deserves.

She might also want to consider the fact that our bodies send us messages when we fail to honour them or respect their needs, thereby creating distress or rapid degeneration. If we’re feeling betrayed by our body, then, it’s almost always because our negative programming has prompted us to make emotional, physical or nutritional compromises in the hope of acceptance or approval from others—which means that we betray our body in numerous ways. We say yes when we want to say no; we over-extend ourselves, in the hope of recognition; we become pleasers, in the hope that others will love us in return; and we make others’ needs or feelings more important than ours, rarely putting ourselves first in healthy, unconditional ways. Understanding and heeding the body’s messages is another way of connecting with the deeper truth about ourselves—and cancelling out the negative programming that has been covering it up.

Let’s hope that the new programme that Moore will be co-producing later this year on cable TV—The Conversation—will reveal the bigger picture of empowerment, and not just the demi-truths of our dysfunction.

For a FREE e-book on how to identify and fill in your missing pieces in practical ways, please e-mail olga@olgasheean.com. For more on empowerment and the science of human dynamics, see www.olgasheean.com

What are YOU afraid of?

What are you afraid of?

I am continually amazed at how many times I will try to stop myself from moving ahead with an idea or an inspiration. My mind goes to the amount of work that may be involved in getting the idea off the ground, the possible outcome after all that work, (success or failure), self confidence issues come up and stare me in the face….. Then I have a decision. Do I simply drop the idea and continue on in mediocrity or do I GO FOR IT…envisioning the outcome and regardless of the outcome?

When you read that last sentence can’t you just hear the difference in those two choices? What sounds most exciting, more life expanding? What sounds like the natural choice? And what choice do YOU take when faced with this crossroad?…..Sadly I think you, like most, choose to drop the idea and continue along in mediocrity. Contract instead of EXPAND into Life.

So how can you STOP doing this…STOP living your life in ‘fear’ and move into faith?

Do you remember when you were a child and what it was like to look at life through the eyes of a child…with wonder?  Maybe you do vaguely or maybe you don’t. You would be curious as to how something works and you would announce that you were going to be “an astronaut” and fly to the moon. You did not know how…you just revelled in the excitement of the possibility. And then most likely someone told you…. “Oh don’t be silly” or “why would you want to do that?”. What a shame. And the more times someone (usually a well intentioned parent) rained on your parade, the more you began to shrink back in your belief of what was possible and what was not. AND now fast forward 20,30 or 40 years…those words are still there hiding in your subconscious, keeping you from “wondering” what you could still achieve in this life…keeping YOUR gifts from the world. Again, what a shame.

So how to you begin to light a fire in your soul again and GO FOR IT?

How about if for one week you take even just one of these suggestions and use it…consciously and see what magic transforms? The only condition is that you EXPECT whole heartedly that something great will happen and you are not allowed to demand HOW. That is not your job. Your job is to take the first step and then follow the ones that are revealed to you from there….Have Fun!  ~ Mona

1. Make it Nonnegotiable
Promise yourself that you are absolutely going to do it. When you do it, where you do it, the first step, and most likely will, change according to circumstances. But that you will do it is not open for consideration. Call it a vow, a promise, a pledge, a commitment. Whatever you name it, making it choiceless is a tool for overcoming backsliding after your initial enthusiasm fades. You don’t negotiate with yourself about brushing your teeth. You just do it. I bet you usually honor your commitments to other people too. Treat yourself equally well. Make your resolution a nonnegotiable commitment in your life.

2. Make it Actionable
Is your goal concrete enough? Many of us fail because we haven’t turned it into something to actually do. Yesterday, a client said he was going to focus more on himself and his family and less on his job. “How are you going to put that into action?” I asked. There was silence on the other end of the phone. Here are some resolutions I’ve recently heard: to have more energy…to learn to relax…to learn to make decisions. There’s nothing wrong with these desires. But they must be translated into actions. Actions tell you HOW you’re going to do something—I’m going to go to bed earlier and exercise 30 minutes daily to have more energy; I’m going to spend ½ hour a day relaxing with my feet up on the couch; I’m going to make a decision about the vacation by Friday. To succeed you must know what actions you’re going to take.

3. Come Up with Solutions for Your Usual Excuses
What is your usual litany of excuses and rationalizations? One way to think about this is to ask yourself what has gotten in your way in the past when you’ve tried to do this resolution or any other. Forgetting? No time? Losing interest? Not knowing how to begin? And what are the rationalizations you give yourself when you gave up in the past? It doesn’t matter? It’s not that bad? It’s too hard? Instead of just hoping it will be different this time, write down your typical excuses and rationalizations and create strategies in advance for dealing with them. That way you won’t get stopped in your tracks and lose forward momentum when they arise. And yes, they will! Because of the way our brains are hardwired, we have a strong tendency to repeat behavior over and over.

4. Use Procrastination to Your Advantage
Business coach Mike R. Jay claims that 60% of the population is “pressure prompted,” as it’s called on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It’s a preference, usually labeled as procrastination, to take in information for as long as possible before being forced into action by some external deadline. The other 40% of us are “early-starters,” who prefer to get the ball rolling and avoid pressure. If you fall into the pressure-prompted majority, find a deadline that will help you get into motion—a reunion, a vacation, a wedding, a performance. One would-be diet-and- exerciser finally got off the starting line when he got the lead in a local production of The Full Monty, which required him to parade around in a g-string in three month’s time. A woman finished her Ph.D. thesis that had been languishing for years when she got a job that required its completion. To work most effectively, the deadline must be real and come from the outside. Pressure-prompters tend to blow off self-created ones.

5. Schedule It In
Before Jan. 2004, I never exercised a day in my life. Since then, I have kept my resolution to exercise 30 minutes a day about 80 percent of the time. How did I do it? Put into my day planner and treated it as an appointment with a client. Otherwise it’s too easy to schedule all my time away with things I enjoy more (which is everything). Want to write every day? Block it out on your calendar. Want to start looking for a date on Match.com? Schedule it. Make a specific, time-bound appointment with yourself and you’ll be much more likely to do it.

6. Do it Daily
Someone asked the Dalai Lama to describe in one word the secret to living a healthy life. His answer? “Routines.” Bad habits imprison us; good ones bring us closer to our heart’s desire. The more you make what you want part of your everyday life, the more it will become so routine that soon you won’t even have to think about it. If you want to have more work/life balance, for instance, find a way to do a little something each day: leave the office ½ hour earlier, take a walk with the family after dinner, read a novel before bed.

7. Monitor Your Behavior
Research shows that when you monitor your behavior in writing, you’re more likely to do better. That’s because monitoring is a key to self-regulation, the capacity to do what it is you say you want. Monitoring can take the form of a food diary, counting the number of times you keep your temper in a day, logging the successes you’ve had with not worrying, etc. You also monitor yourself when you put your full attention on something—not eating and watching TV at the same time, for instance.

8. Focus on the Horizon
Take a tip from high performance athletes. Look at how far you’ve come, not how much you have left to do. Scientists call this the horizon effect. It creates encouragement—“I’ve done twice as much as a week ago!” and builds determination—“I’ve made it this far; I might as well keep going.” Focus on the ten pounds you did lose; the closet you managed to clean; the $1,000 debt you’ve wiped out; the evening you carved out for yourself. Don’t forget to ask yourself how you’ve accomplished the task so far, so you can mine your success for ideas on how to keep going.

9. Take It One Choice At a Time
When we think about changing something in ourselves, it can feel overwhelming. But in truth, our entire lives are constructed of the minute-by-minute choices we’re making, many of which we’re not even aware of. As Gary Zukav reminds us, “An unconscious choice is a reaction…A conscious choice is a response.” Bring your choices to consciousness. If you’re having trouble sticking to your resolution, for a day, try this practice: when you’re doing the bad old thing, stop and say, “I’m choosing to: eat this Twinkie, not work out, stay at the office to finish this project, blow up, look at my email rather than clean my desk, etc. Do you like yourself when you make this choice? You can choose differently, moment to moment. The next day, make the positive choice visible to yourself: I’m choosing to throw this catalog away rather than go on a spending spree; I’m choosing to take a few calming breaths before speaking; I’m choosing to get my taxes done today rather than wait till April 14th. The more you focus on the positive choice you can make this very day, without worrying about forever, the more you will live yourself into the new habit.

10. Find Someone Who’s Doing What You Want and Imitate Them
I have a friend who wants to lose weight. When we’re together she says, “I’m going to watch what you eat and follow suit.” When I set out to become more kind, grateful, and generous, I made a study of people I knew who had those qualities and tried to do as they did. It can be useful to read books or listen to tapes. But when it comes to changing human behavior, there’s nothing that beats good old-fashioned role models. Babies learn by imitation; why shouldn’t adults? Who do you know that is good at what you want to learn? What do they do that you don’t? The more you intentionally watch those who are living the habit you desire, the more you have to draw on when you are by yourself. Watch and learn—and don’t be afraid to ask questions: How do you get all of your work done and still have time for your family? Teach me your dating secrets. What makes you able to take risks? Most people love to teach if given the opportunity.

11. Teach It to Someone Else
A great way to really cement a new habit is to become a mentor. I was reminded of this the other day when a client of mine, who’d come to me to learn patience, said, “You’d be so proud of me, M.J. I was helping an employee of mine be more successful and I found your words coming out of my mouth about understanding when it’s time to push and when it’s time to hold back. I realized how much I’ve learned about patience, and my teaching reinforced the merits for me.” One crucial tip to make this as effective as possible—whatever you suggest to someone else, practice yourself. In other words, be sure to take your own advice on the topic. It’s a way to really walk the walk.

12. Treat Yourself Kindly
“Anything you know you forget. It’s all about getting confused and getting unconfused.” That’s a piece of wisdom from Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein to remind us that we’re only human. We’re doing the best we can. We will mess up or forget. When we do, our task is to hold ourselves in love. You and I are human beings dealing with the challenges of growth. When we treat ourselves with kindness, we don’t collapse into shame or guilt, but can try again with greater wisdom for having faltered.

12 tips for Change by MJ Ryan

Schedule your Complimentary Discovery Session with Mona Here

Mona McClelland

Lifestyle and Wellness Coach

The answers are all inside ….all you have to do is TRUST them.

All you need is love….

It is interesting to me that many times we go out in the world and tell others of the wonderful and special attributes of those we love. But, really isn’t it the ones we love who truly deserve to hear these heart–felt messages?

…And just as kids need a daily dose of love, touch, affirmation, acknowledgement and support, adults, particularly those who did NOT receive this loving reinforcement as children,  will still be seeking it from someone/somehow until this need is met and fed….maybe for the rest of their lives….And that is ok!

To share a little with you about my life growing up; I felt I had to beg for love or cause some sort of disruption for a little (or a lot of) attention. The latter – attention seeking – resulting in the former….getting what I thought was love (probably in a form of a punishment – hey at least I got some attention). Pretty screwy way of thinking right….but hey I was a kid and I did what I knew how to do to get my needs met the best way I knew how. I am sure some of you reading this can relate somewhat.

Fast forward to my adult years. The program that was laid in place during my childhood caused me to continue to seek the loving affirmations in relationships – sabotaging the somewhat good ones while trying to hang on to the painful ones. (Can you see the pattern here?).

Then finally after much maturing, self-discovery, self love and putting my faith in God, I found the love of my life….Ok the second love of my life. Learning to love myself first, heal from layer upon layer of heartache, allowed me to clearly attract into my life….a partner, someone with so much love to give me and someone wanting all the love I could NOW give in return.

But, just when I thought all was right with my world…even in this most loving, caring relationship moments of deep loneliness would creep in causing me to ask myself if I could still be “broken”, so broken that I could not be fully happy with all the love I was receiving?

Then one day, after asking God if I was still broken, I realized and heard clearly that I was not….and what came to me was this understanding: The simple fact of not being given the five blessings of love constantly from my parents, left a hole in my fabric and that all I had to do now, as an adult, was to ASK….I must ask for this need to be filled. In this way, my loving partner would then have the ability to respond to my needs without having to ‘read’ my mind AND I did not have to live in sadness as a victim of my past.

My parents did their best and of course, in my maturity, I have long since accepted this fact.  As number 4 of 4 children, my parents had their hands full with the very real threat of losing a child, my sister 2 years my senior, who had severe asthma attacks, starting at age 5.  She spent a lot of time hospitalized and I spent a whole lot of time alone, full of imagination and creativity and curiosity, but alone……and my exuberance for life was just too much at times for my mom and dad to bear. The unintentional squashing of my spirit began and the molding of Mona took place. The more I fought this, the harder it was…so I stopped…I conceded…..but the sad ache in my heart never left.

I learned that I was happiest when I was loving someone…but truly I was searching to fill this empty place inside…where my natural….happy…exuberant spirit once lived.

The learning through these revelations is this: Today, I ask for my needs of love, touch and affirmation from the man I love and trust. Sometimes this is hard to do and the “little Mona” will retreat and pout…feeling sad and lonely again. However, I find the more I reach out and shine light on this truth and accept it…(my need of hearing that I am loved and feeling that I am loved)….. The more my wisdom, my maturity and my voice can take over to bring me my heart’s desire (to feel loved).

My mother always said, “You have a voice…use it”. Maybe not so easy as a child in my demographic…..but there is so much truth in this statement. Use your voice….be heard…get what you need…whatever that may be. Put the shame away and be proud of who you are…..believe me you will not stand alone if others hear your message.

Ask for the love you want and HOW you need to receive it. For some, in this life, the subject title of this message could not be truer….  “All you need is LOVE”.

Coach Mona

Your Guide to an Abundant, Healthy Life

MeetMonaMcClelland.com

Are you lying to yourself?

How many times have you  started something, only to have the entire plan thwarted? It starts with an idea, a great idea; a goal or a plan to make your life better, create more and make wonderful life changes?

Then out of nowhere (usually after you tell someone) a voice in your head (reinforced by the comments you just heard) says something like, “what makes you think you can do that”? “How are you going to do that?” “Do you even know how to do that?” Or some judgement that was conjured up in your mind from this voice that I like to call the voice of unreason. If it was the voice of reason….it would be saying something like… “What a great idea.” “What will be your first step?” “Who is the best person to talk to, to really make this happen?”

But alas, again you go nowhere. You are stopped even before you get started. Your life stays the same. You stay the same….unfulfilled!

What kind of lies have you been telling yourself? I call this too much rational-lies-ing. The voice of unreason begins to talk and churn and you start to rational –lies all the ways you can NOT make these changes. Yes maybe you spoke to someone else – the wrong someone else who, for whatever their good reasons may be, helped you rational – lies things until you could simply no longer get excited about your once very exciting idea or plan.

First: You must know if you get an “inspired idea” to go WITH it. This feeling is a very good sign that you are on the right track.

Second: Tell no one….or only someone you can trust that will support you and help you hone this idea into fruition.

Third: Find a coach or mentor who will help you find or see the steps necessary to make what you want a reality.

Fourth: Prepare – do not jump ahead of this step. Many people do, only to fall flat on their faces because of lack of preparation.

Fifth: Create small, doable steps to success

Sixth: Do them!

Be very aware of the “voice” in your head – the one that is rational-lies-ing away your dreams.

Create an amazing life…..the good news is you have been doing this all along. Don’t like what you see? Change it. Don’t know how? That is not your job. Your Job is to know what you want….the HOW will be revealed. Try it! Let me know.

May you create a truly abundant life.

What to talk to me about this? Fill out this short questionnaire and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Mona

Which type are you?

In order to get anything that you desire in your life you have to weigh your why toos and your why not toos….or the benefits of getting more money or better health or something else you have been wanting and the reason why to NOT have these things you want come to fruition.

It is so apparent to me that most people want more…..everything: money, love, flexibility of time, happiness etc etc….but so many are in the ‘wanting’ stage of it ….Not the getting or receiving stage of it. So why is this?

Let’s start by comparing ourselves to an Iceberg. What do I mean by that? Well there is about 10% of an iceberg showing above the water, 90% of that iceberg is hidden below the surface. Like us, our conscious thoughts make up about 10% of our “thinking power”…..but 90% of what is happening in our thought process is subconscious (or below the surface of our consciousness). So it stands to reason that if you are NOT getting what you want….then there is something going on subconsciously that is leaning to the “why not too” get it department. We could analyze this for days, but better than that we can look towards our feelings and actions to determine WHY we are NOT getting what we want for ourselves or our families.

So I thought it would be fun to look at the four types of people there are in the world.

First, there are the “Flounderers” – These are people who have not set goals (mostly because they have never been taught how) and may have very little drive. They seem content to go with the flow and do nothing different to change their lives or the lives of anyone around them. It is typical for flounderers to do the same unproductive activities over and over again, day in day out…like too much TV for example.

Second, there are the “The Would Like Toos” – These are people who would like to be more, do more and have more, but are afraid. They seem to always find that reason “why not.” Fears paralyze them and their decisions and they never seem able to get started on anything. They hope and wish but without action….. thus the hopes and dreams never come to be.

Then there are the “Just Can’t Get it Dones” – Have you ever heard the term ‘get ready to get ready’? This type has a typical MO of starting, but never finishing. They fall short on their commitments and they stop building relationships. They have amazing potential, however no results, mostly because they listen to that voice (you know the voice) that inner voice of unreason, “the critic” that stops them every time and they listen to their own excuses again and again. They kind of have a type of ADD…..always switching from one project to the next. They like the feeling of instant gratification and that takes them off course one more time.

And finally, there are the “Accountables” – These are the people who get the results. They know the buck stops here…with them and their decisions, commitment, focus and action. They are willing to do what is necessary regardless of “the inner critic” and the outer dream stealers and finish what they start and go get what they want regardless of what ever happened to stall or stop them before.

It doesn’t matter what they want in life….once they have become clear about it, they go for it…they find away to make it so. The “Accountables” are just that…. real clear on what they want right from the start and accountable to making it happen – A BIG, common characteristic of all “Accountables” is they take full responsibility and make no excuses, for why things are not happening the way they want…..they focus on solutions.

Which type are you?

This is something you should spend some time thinking about ….especially if things are not happening in your life the way you would like them to.

Here is a tip: In the next week or so really watch your actions and your self-talk.

Keep a close tabs on this and you will be able to determine very quickly which type you are.

Now the good news is…once you know, then you are half way there. Most people spend their days on automatic pilot….complaining about why their life, their health, their relationships are not the way they want them to be and never take the time to find out whether they are a “Flounderer”, a “Would Like To”, or a “Just Can’t Get it Done” type.

Don’t let this be you.

BTW You “Accountables” …you KNOW who you are!

Mona McClelland
Abundant Life Guide
“7 Steps to More Time, Money and Love” Teleseminar Starting May 11, 2011

Stay tuned for more updates on how you can reserve your spot soon.

~ Do you want Free Admission? ~

What would it be like to be able to bare your Soul….Cleanse your Spirit or simply say what you are thinking about in a safe environment, joined by others who are doing the same? And what would it be like to be able to do this all online from the comfort of your home?

If that sounds at all interesting to you, read on…..

Every now and then someone is brave enough to take action on an inspired idea. And the creator of Facebook’s Online Community Free Admission is one of those people.

Ashley Anderson, who is featured in the Avaiya film Mpower had an Ahha moment one day while chatting with her friends. They brought to light something in her that she took a long hard look at and from that moment decided it would be personally freeing to “air” out any of these self defeating thoughts in a place where she could invite others to bear witness. What better place than Facebook!

Since then the community has begun to take on a life of its own as more and more people are joining in on the conversation….taking refuge, so to speak and finding comfort in either downloading the monkey chatter that goes on in their heads, making comments or simply reading other posts and basking in the comfort knowing that they are not alone.

This unique idea of embracing the hidden vulnerabilities and baring your soul to the world may not appeal to everyone however many people can be helped and served by a community based on unconditional acceptance towards others, realizing that we are all so very much alike.

What I think is so wonderful about Free Admission is just that……the idea that people can come together in a place of acceptance, kindness and nurturing that will help and serve many who will benefit from this virtual hug.

So if you have a chance to visit Free Admission to see what it is all about, log in to Facebook and simply do a search for Free Admission.

Or if you would like to hear all about Free Admission from the Creator Ashley Anderson, you can listen HERE to a 30 min recorded interview and hear about what Ashley has in store for Free Admission in the years to come….all I can say is Very Cool!

Mona McClelland
Your Abundant Life Guide

Are you Growing Older or Growing Up?

I was listening to the radio a couple of weeks back and I scribbled down on a piece of paper what I heard because I thought “how interesting”. The topic was, was growing older versus growing up. And so they asked, and I asked myself, what’s the difference? And you may be asking yourself what is the difference?

I was quite intrigued by the answer to this question as explained to me by the talk show host. He suggested that growing older has simply to do with the passage of time…. And before you know it, you can look back over your life and you’ll be able to see whether you had just grown older or grown up.

Well, I thought about that for a few moments and realized that you do not have to wait to look back at your life from a ripe old age, but you really can look back in that rear view mirror of life at any time. So here is the difference; if you are growing, fully growing up, you can look at yourself and you can see in your life what you’d like to create or change or learn, what it is about yourself that you wish to improve upon, and how can you be of more service to your family and to others? Also you can assess what you can do to grow in your life personally that will add value to not only your life, but the lives of others.

You see, I believe life is not all about what you can get; it’s about what you can give. And then the natural response to giving is receiving. It’s a cycle, there has to be a giver to have a receiver and vice verse. The more we give, truly the more we do receive.

So if you think about it …if you really think about it… ask yourself now, have you grown up much, are you growing up or are you simply just growing older? Isn’t it great that you have a choice in the matter? Embrace those gifts you were given….grow them…and share them with the world. Only YOU can bring to the world the gift you were born to give!

Mona McClelland
Your Abundant Life Guide
7 Steps to More Time, Money & Love