Archive for the ‘Relating’ Category

How to ALLOW Abundance into your life now

So you have been studying the Laws of the Universe have you?

Especially the Law of Attraction  – LOA as most people refer to it. If you haven’t, that is okay too… I will give you a refresher.

LOA is a LAW...not something I have made up…it is a LAW of the universe that  just happens…and is happening all the time whether you believe it is or not. Just like the law of gravity…doesn’t matter if it is you or the Queen of England…if you step of a high building the LAW of gravity will bring you down.

So the LOA is happening every moment….. Now and now and now and now. It’s only has one job and that is to check and match your vibration. SO if you are grumpy …it is checking and matching and bringing you more of that scenario. If you are happy and positive ….it is checking and matching and bringing you more of that. The good news is that LOA had no memory banks and YOU get to change your vibration as many times as you change your mind to attract what you want. Do you want to know HOW to get more of what you want and less of what you don’t?  Keep reading!

This is my last abundance message until September for this year. In the summer I manifest, time with my children, playing in the summer sun all while working with my clients and if you would like to attract more abundance this year I suggest you email me or call me up and make that a priority.

I know you are saying… I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money AND you are right…what ever you say it true…because you believe it and until you decide to believe something different, you can read all the abundance blogs in the world…BUT still you will not attract what you want because of ONE thing…. You are NOT allowing it!

That does not mean you ramp up the affirmations, place more sticky note reminders around your house or hope and pray more than ever that you get what you want. You see doing these things just reinforces what is NOT happening and then you get more of that..WHAT is not happening!

There is an art to getting a positive match from the Universe and deliberately creating an abundant life. It is called ALLOWING.

1. First you need to know what it is you want…like going into  a restaurant, the waiter can not bring you want you want until you decide and ask. AND then what you want comes and you enjoy the result ( hunger satiated).

2. You need to give what you want attention, energy and focus. Stay in the vibration of WHAT you want and stay away from people, places and other situations that would bring your vibration (positive feeling) down and take away your focus of getting what you want.

3. The third step is to ALLOW it to come. What do I mean? Well if you have complete doubt ….absolutely NO Faith that what you want will come ..then remember what I said before? You are right…It won’t come and then you get to affirm, “See, this stuff doesn’t work”.

If you have never been able to get or achieve what it is that you do want then you might continue to believe that you can not. BUT you can begin to believe by affirming that you are now in the process of getting that which you want and you can get excited by that…then you can even look for social proof of others getting what you want and saying ” I’ll have what they are having”.

More good news is that you do not have to completely wipe out the doubt to deliberately create, you only have to reduce the doubt. The less doubt you have the faster what you want will appear.

That’s it…. Too simple? Then why are you not doing it already? Seems to me people just want to hang on to why they can not get what they want and then buy into, what they call, their reality they have created with all their doubts and complaining.

Remember LOA is working now and now and now …whether you like it or not…..you are the creator…why not learn to create what you really want deliberately?

A great how to book for making your WANTS into your REALITY is  HERE …grab it now and start living your most abundant life now.

How to apply the Law of Attraction so you get more of what you do want and less of what you don’t!

Your Abundant Life Guide ( AKA the “Busy Mom Mentor“)

 

 

 

 

HAPPY SUMMER  2013!!!

~ What you DON’T want will bring you EVERYTHING you DO Want ~

Did you know that to get everything you want, the key is to know what you don’t want?

Ahhh…how can this be you maybe thinking?

Well it is simple and it IS the key to getting EVERYTHING you want.

I and many of my clients are living proof and when I found out HOW to do this one simple thing, every time I do it….. what I want rushes to me. It is like magic.

Now that  I have peaked your curiosity…….I won’t keep you waiting.

I use a process that I call “Clarity through Consciousness”. An elaborate name for a simple process.

What I have found is prevalent in the human condition is that we seem to know and focus on what we don’t want. When it comes to relationship, business/career, finances, love…..we have a laundry list of what we don’t want to have or have happen…. AND THIS IS EXCITING!

….and here’s why.

When you identify what it is that you DON’T want the exact opposite is the reveal. This now is what you DO WANT.

Whoo Hoo!!

Here is an example. Grab a piece of paper and draw a line vertically through the middle. On the left side at the top, label this column “WHAT I DON’T WANT”  on the right side column, name it “WHAT I DO WANT”.

Then pick a category, in your life, that you want to focus on manifesting a positive outcome…let’s stay a better job.

On the don’t want column you may write:

  • long work hours
  • low wages
  • cranky boss
  • negative co-workers
  • long commute
  • etc etc ….make the list of Don’t wants LONG

Then on the other side ( the  I do want column) write the opposite.

  • 7 hour work days
  • 25.00 per hour
  • an upbeat employer
  • team players
  • short commute from home
  • …and keep going till you get it all scripted out

THEN cross out the DON’T WANTS  and focus on the DO WANTS.

That’s it….but remember to spend time daily and envision the DO WANTS as being here now and how you feel about it. If you create it in your mind – you will see it in your world!!

ps…..this is how I found the love of my life….. and he jokes now and tells folks he is a product of a “list”…..my friend’s hubby is too, so we have lots of fun with that. This is the same process we used to find the house we live in now. This is powerful and it works.

Don’t take my word for it ….give it a try and then let me know exactly what an abundant life you are now creating!

Blessing,

 

 

 

 

 

pps…want MORE help creating an abundant Magical life…..Just use The Visible Blueprint …..7 Steps to More Time, Money and Love – Grab it now HERE

~ the Buck Stops Here ~

“Stop Expecting People to show up the way you want them to and allow them to show up as they are, and stop holding people hostage for what you they should or shouldn’t have done”  Iyanla Vanzant

I couldn’t have said this better myself!

What happens when we fall in love, develop a core friendship, have children, parents etc…..is we see them through the lens of our perceptions and the stories of OUR lives. After the “fairy” dust settles and the child grows, time passes in a friendship and the spouse becomes “comfortable”….what is there?

This is a question that has crossed the minds ( either consciously or not) of every man, woman and parent living on this planet earth.

What gives us ANY right to think that someone else is responsible for our happiness?

Well I am not a psychologist…..but it all seems to point back to our childhood. What happens when we get hurt and what goes on at birthday and holiday time? We are born and begin living watching people please us …we soon find out that the way TO GET WHAT WE WANT is ….to please and expect to be pleased by others. So we DO BE and ACT in a certain way…that is then expected of us ( and we expect it back from others)

What a complete recipe for sadness and despair, anger and jealousy not to mention some resentment thrown in there too.

So what can we do about this? I don’t think anyone, anytime soon is going to stop giving their newborns and growing children love/affection with hopes to please them….but at some point we ALL need to see that true happiness/pleasure is our very own personal responsibility AND that any other gestures of pleasing from others is an added bonus.

AND something else very cool happens, when we ensure our OWN personal happiness….we have MORE to give others and then the feelings are naturally boomeranged right back to us…….WONDERFUL.

How are some ways you can be responsible for your own happiness?

1. Write down everything that makes you unhappy and then look for/do/be the opposite of everything on that list.

2. Keep an abundance journal or board AND every day make note of everything positive/free/abundant that comes to you. ( and if you focus on this MORE with naturally come ( almost magically).

3. Focus on ways to give. This does not have to cost money OR take much time….perhaps a flower, a smile, a compliment. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” . THE BONUS – you will FEEL GREAT!

4. Work at a job you LOVE or do your job and find a hobby that you look forward to spending time on.

5. Say I love you and show it to those you care for as much as you can. (If they say ‘enough already – I know you love me’ then you will know you are giving out lots of love.)

6. Do something that YOU LOVE- FOR YOU everyday ( again – does not have to cost money or much time).

……..I encourage  you to take this short list and run with it….start with what is here and make it super long…..and specific to you.

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. To quote Andy Andrews from the “Traveler’s Gift” ...the buck stops here!

Mona McClelland

Professional Life and Health Coach

the “Busy Mom Mentor”

 

~ What is an Empowered Woman anyways? ~

This post was inspired by my beautiful 21 year old daughter who is navigating her way, on HER journey in this world.

This week she called me from Montreal, where she is going to University, to tell me that she really needed someone to talk to.

By the time we spoke she had spoken to another friend of hers and was feeling much better but the issue at hand, although with more clarity at this point, was still gnawing at her.

She started by saying to me that her recently uprooted living situation had really got the best of her and that she thought she should sign up for some ‘assertiveness training classes’ to help empower her in the future.

Okay, I know you are a busy professional working mom, wondering what a story about a 21  year University student has to do with YOU? Everything….keep reading!

Now in my 5th decade of life I look back at all the things I was NEVER taught and am so very excited that my daughters (and I think most children these days) are learning HOW to be assertive….to NOT accept bullying, and to cultivate and LIVE their passions from such a very young age. AND where would I be today if I had learned these things in my 20s?

As I listened to my daughter talk about her conundrum……I had a great amount of empathy. It would not be any fun ….if after 2 months of selecting the ‘right’ place to live and then 2 months living there (after moving across the country) that you have to uproot and move again. Then of course deliberating on the new “right place to be” with the “right” roommates…..and having someone else squeak in and scoop THAT one too.

Here is what I told her:

First that what she was having to deal with SUCKED….big time.

And that if taking an assertiveness training would make her feel more empowered then go for it.

BUT what I thought she really needed to hear was this……

SHE WAS ALREADY EMPOWERED.……and it was because of the following 5 steps that she intuitively took:

1. She took stock of her situation and made a DECISION of what was best for her ( she had to leave the present living situation – it was a drag – but living with others more suited to her demographic would be better).

2. She set a timeline……(after midterms – again taking care of HER needs).

3. She took action and found 2 places that were suitable.

4. Support……When she felt overwhelmed or confused she reached out for help.

5. She was in touch with her emotions. Lets face it ladies…in this world we are still taught that being and showing emotions ( negative ones ) is unacceptable and YES uncomfortable. BUT they are called E-Motions for a reason….feel them ……and let them MOVE through you and out. Otherwise they WILL get stuck in your body and cause all sorts of BIGGER DISCOMFORT later.

I told her that she is one of the most empowered women I know and that is takes more courage to reach out and be vulnerable about a situation than act like an ISLAND  thinking you can do it ALL by yourself.

So now that you know what  a truly EMPOWERED woman is and what she does to be that way. I bet YOU can look in the mirror and see one looking right back at you.

Take care of yourself first ladies….because if you don’t…..everyone else depending on you will either walk all over you OR they won’t have YOU to depend on for long. A BURNT-OUT mom is no good to anyone.

My offer still stands….. I get that it is hard to reach out for help. But now that you know ( or are reminded) that it is a sign of STRENGTH  not weakness …...you can ask for help too.

Discover  now what is missing in your life……it is my honour to be there with you and hold your hand as you do!  (even if you are depressed, tired, lazy and/or have no goals).

Blessings,

Mona

the”Busy Mom Mentor”

….and remember “When Moms Happy, Everyone’s Happy”

What a waste of Energy

You can not control others………. Intellectually that makes perfect sense right? Then why is it that you keep trying?

There is a difference between trying to control or change others AND having your needs met.

The first is YOU trying to make those around you behave in a way that works for YOU in your life.

The latter is YOU asking speaking out, communicating what you need ( and most of those needs can be met by you!)

Even really simple things can drive you crazy like, having the toothpaste tube squeezed in the middle instead of  having it rolled up from the bottom, a new roll of TP put on instead of just leaving the empty cardboard tube and even driving yourself crazy because your kid did not do what you asked him/her for the 100th time. ARGHHH!

Well, just think about all the stress you are causing yourself and all the energy you are wasting by getting yourself so worked up inside. But what are you to do about it……how can YOU control them or get THEM to change (so YOU can feel better)? Wow, I am just tired trying to follow that train of thought.

Well, here are two things you can do right away:

1. Tell the person HOW you FEEL about it and ASK them if they can agree to do this for you or at least meet you half way. (now I know with kids it takes a little longer – BUT believe me, even with kids it is “human nature” to follow through with doing the task or request IF you give them your reason.) Has it ever worked to just “want” to do what you are told ( maybe only for fear of repercussions?) AND all the complaining in the world will NOT work…it will just make others turn a deaf ear or not want to be around you.

2.  Take a deep breath , ask yourself HOW truly important this is to you….can you relax and just let it go ( and if not WHY not?). Then let it go….It may still bother you, but if you can do this time and time again, before you know it, the more calm you are and things are getting done AND your calm energy will move around you and throughout your environment. Others will love being around you AND things WILL get done.

Lets face it …it is truly the small little things that build up that interfere with YOUR own peace of mind…..WHY are you letting that happen to you? Yes, YOU, are letting that happen to you and maybe even hindering some very loving relationships where that energy could be used for nurturing instead dismantling.

And if you really still feel you can not let go of the need to CONTROL……well how about funneling that energy to areas of your life and focus on things that are really in your control. YOU WILL feel better!  I guarantee it! ( but remember the key is to do these things – shift your focus – the mind can only hold one thought or focus at a time!)

Right now YOU are in charge of:

1. Your level of honesty.
2. How many times you smile today.
3. How often you say “thank you.”
4. What you spend your money on.

5. How you act on your feelings
6. Whether or not you give someone the benefit of the doubt.
7. Whether you listen or wait to talk.
8. When you walk away from a conversation.
9. The type of food you eat.
10. How much time you spend worrying.

11. How much exercise you get.
12. How many times you swear at others in traffic.
13. How often you think about your past.
14. How many negative articles you read or news you listen to.
15. The loving  attention you give to your spouse & kids when you see them.

16. How much you enjoy your kids right now.
17. Whether or not you communicate something that’s on your mind.
18. How you interpret situations.
19. How often you notice & appreciate small acts of kindness-they’re everywhere!

20. How deeply you breathe when you experience stress.
21. How many times you say “I love you.”

Food for thought isn’t it?

Just think of all the extra energy you will have when you stop trying to control and manage others and just manage yourself? Ahhh Bliss……


Can’t seem to STOP doing what is bringing you what you DON”T want in your life?

Maybe I can help you….Well in fact I KNOW I can help you.

Sometimes doesn’t it feel good to get an objective point of view…..One that can help you “see the forest for the trees” of should I say ” feel seen, heard and valued in YOUR world”?…Stop complaining - start attracting what you really want…give that all your attention, energy and focus.

You want more love….give more love (but not to someone if they are abusing  you), want more money, clean up your debt and start focusing on wealth and abundance, want more time….simplify your life and focus on what YOU TRULY WANT. STOP COMPLAINING about what you don’t want…cause guess what YOU WILL JUST GET MORE OF THAT.

Don’t know what you want ?  In 30 minutes with me ……YOU WILL KNOW.

Time to Discover what you Want to HAVE in your life. This is your movie…time to step into YOUR starring role!

….or you can just continue to get what you are getting now.  CHOOSE something NEW TODAY.

….and Remember  “When Moms Happy….Everyone’s Happy”


 

 

 

 

Mona

the “Busy Mom Mentor”

ps. if this messages today has helped you, even in the smallest of ways, please pass it on to others who are waiting to be inspired to create what they truly want in their lives.

~ How to say Thank you ~

What I want you to pay particular notice to when you are reading this is….which one of these ways to say thank you is the one that resonates with you the  most?  When you know what it is then let everyone know that this is HOW you like to be thanked….that this is the way that you most feel loved ( because guess what …everyone else is showing love and gratitude in the way they most want to feel and receive love……thus the problem.

YOU must know your way and then communicate that to those who you most want to receive love from!

 

Please read to what Britt Reints of  “In Pursuit of Happiness.net” writes…….

 

 5 love languages people use to communicate with each other. A “love language” is the type of communication a person tends to understand most easily, and may include:

 

 

  •  Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

Our love language is the communication that we get, and it tends to be the one we use most often when we’re trying to send a message to someone else. Of course, if that person is more fluent in a different language, our true intent might get lost in translation.

Saying Thank You with Words of Affirmation

This is my native tongue. The more words you use, the more connected I feel. The best way to make someone like me feel appreciated is to open your mouth and say, “thank you.” You can also:

  • Write a letter or email
  • Send a text
  • Post to my Facebook wall

It doesn’t matter where you say it, but what you say will have a big impact. Say thank you and tell me why you’re thanking me – and you’ll make my day.

Saying Thank You with Quality Time

This is how my mom communicates. The best way to thank someone like her is to spend an afternoon hanging out on her deck with her. Other ways to show gratitude she’ll get include:

  • Making a phone call
  • Sharing a meal
  • Going for a drive or walk together

My mom is a cheap date, but letting her know she matters requires a little investment of time.

Saying Thank You with Gifts

I suspect my friend Megan speaks this language well, because she often sends little gifts to let me know I’m loved. Of course the most obvious way to show my gratitude is to return the favor, but that doesn’t mean saying thank you has to cost a fortune. Some inexpensive thank you gifts this week could be:

  • An ebook you know they’d enjoy
  • A song or movie rental on iTunes for a title that makes you think of them
  • A fridge magnet made from a picture of the two of you

It’s not the dollar amount that speaks the loudest, but the thought and effort.

Saying Thank You with Acts of Service

This is the language my mother-in-law speaks most easily. She does because she loves. What does she do? She cooks, she cleans, she babysits, and she picks up clothes in your size at garage sales. Saying thank you to someone who doesn’t say much can be tricky. You might try:

  • Cooking dinner
  • Doing a household chore
  • Offering up your work for free (logo design, photo editing, whatever it is you do and normally charge for)

They key for these non-verbal thank yous is to mix the act with a few words that make it clear that you are, in fact, grateful – especially if you’re unsaying thank you for something in particular.

Saying Thank You with Physical Touch

This is Jared’s language. The easiest way to turn his frown upside is to touch him – or let him touch me. Ahem. A few  family-friendly ways to thank someone like my husband might include:

  • A hug
  • A squeeze of the hand
  • A good handshake

A handshake might sound lame if you’re not a touchy person, but watch one exchanged between two men who have a lot of respect for one another and you’ll understand that it can mean more than, “hello, my name is…”

What’s your favorite way to say thank you? How are you planning to say thank you this week?  Please email me back and let me know!

 What would it be worth to you to discover the secrets to being SEEN, Heard and Valued in your World? Priceless!

Attract more time, money and love by being seen, heard and valued in your world ( 497.00 value) today 197.00 Click here to discover How

 

…and remember  When Moms Happy…Everyone’s Happy


Mona McClelland

the “Busy Mom Mentor”




5 Ways you give away your Power

What are you thinking…don’t give away your power….OH…you don’t know that you are doing this….read on…..

1.  Asking others what YOU should do:  Oh I know it is great to chat with your friends, people you respect, to get their opinion. BUT I encourage you to go inside and ask what you should do. Stop, be quiet and then listen. Especially if what you are deliberating on is particularly important to you. This way you will be in touch with what you “feel” you should do – not what you “think” you should do. The mind is meant for solving equations and figuring out puzzles…not for telling you what is BEST for you…that decision comes from  your heart and only YOU know what your heart is telling you to do!

2. Worrying about HOW your dream will come true: This is assuming you know your dream and that you have crafted your vision and you are taking steps to bring it to fruition. THE WORRY only stops or delays the desired outcome. YOUR job is to take the steps ……the HOW will be revealed along the way. It is kind of like driving across the country at night time. You know when you get in the car in the dark you can only see about 200 feet in front of you…BUT if you follow the markings and signs on the road along the way YOU WILL get to your desired destination. The same is true with your dream. WORRY just creates a big detour or a flat tire and stops you in your tracks.

3.Being attached to UNIMPORTANT details and outcomes: You have never done this have you?  What a waste of energy. So what if you forgot something at the market on the way home from work….dinner will still be fine…..and if one of your kids sleeps in and is late for school/work …oh well….and if all the creases are not out of the shirt you meant to wear to work today and you just noticed it going out the door….life goes on. Just BREATHE!

4. Waiting for all your ducks to line up before acting. This is a very common situation. Say you want a specific outcome in your life. Maybe you want a promotion at work…..but you don’t think you are completely qualified. What if you apply anyways? …. You just may get it and THEN you can learn what you need to know to become competent in the new position. BUT, again  you wait until ‘the perfect time’…or the perfect posting before you act…..and then sometimes it never comes and you are still RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. Take the leap of faith…you can always course correct as you go along. :-)

5. Choosing to be unhappy: You are probably saying that you do not “choose” to be unhappy but circumstances in your life are causing you to be unhappy. Maybe things are not perfect. Maybe you don’t love your job, or you have too much debt, or life seems too busy, the kids are driving you crazy…all of this and more is MAKING YOU unhappy.
Sorry sista, I am here to tell you, you are choosing to feel that way about all of it. Yes, I get that none of those circumstances are fun and that they are at the forefront of your life BUT what if, just what if you start looking at some of the other circumstances in your life that may counterbalance ( or out weigh ) the “BAD stuff”?
Lets see…What if every day one or more of your family members gives you a big hug or tells you they love you? What if a client expresses his gratitude for your help? What if you go outside and stand in nature and revel at it consistent beauty? What if someone who you ordered your Latte from smiles at you and says “have a nice day”?
These things may seem small in comparison to the “BIG” problems of your life…but string a bunch of these things together consistently with your conscious awareness AND then you will be choosing happiness and magically your life will begin to change for the better.

You can choose to BE a lighthouse in the storm ( of life) or you can choose to be a tumbleweed. Stand strong as the winds blow around you OR be blown around by the winds will!

Want help choosing to take back your life……
In 30 minutes you will learn exactly what it is you need to do to take that first step back to YOU and your dreams (do you remember what they were?)

Click here and make that choice today.

And remember …..When Moms Happy….Everyone’s Happy

Your Worst Enemy

I can not emphasize enough HOW important it is for YOU, mom, to take care of yourself!

In this busy world you are so good at doing so many things that everyone around you EXPECTS you to simply keep doing these things. Then one day you are wiped out or sick and you cannot. YOU are our own worst enemy. YOU have set up that expectation with everyone….including your spouse, boss and children.

What if…just what if you put yourself on the top of that list and set up some expectations of yourself FOR yourself?

Match everything you do for others with what you could do for yourself.
Example: You drive your kids to all sorts of activities…music lessons, gymnastics, school events…WHAT could you be driving yourself to once a week to nourish your interests?

OR  you buy food and make meals that you know your family will enjoy….do you do this for yourself? Do you put anything on that grocery list just for you?

I am going to give you an assignment this week AND if you want to send your results to me for accountability I would LOVE it to hear what you did for YOU.

In the next 7 days make your self a list (using the clarity through consciousness method).

Remember you know what you DON’T want and this is the best clue to showing you what you do want. So take a piece of paper lengthwise and draw a line down the middle. On the left you write everything you don’t want about the topic you have selected. In this case the topic is ‘what do I love to do for myself’?’ So this exercise should be easy AND insightful…IF YOU DO IT.

Ex: on the left you might write: I don’t like being so busy I have no time for a walk ( in nature, by the beach etc), or I don’t like being so busy that I don’t read my book every night.  So the opposites of these are : I want to go for a walk in nature EVERY week, I want to read in my book every night, I want help making lunches etc.

You can not change that which you are not conscious of …….GET CONSCIOUS…. then take the steps to change things. Create a new set of expectations for yourself, your boss and for your family.

STOP being your own worst enemy and start being YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. How you treat yourself IS how others will treat you. How do you want to be treated?
Let me know HOW your life changes.

Mona McClelland
the “Busy Mom Mentor”

* if you find this information helpful PLEASE share it with other busy working moms that you know it would help to take back their lives and begin sharing their gifts with the world!

….And REMEMBER ”When Moms Happy – Everyone’s Happy”

Are you too Needy?

Every mom has the ability to do so much for her family and at times your tank is running on empty but you don’t even know it……Moms are so good at taking care of their family’s needs but what happens when mom’s needs are not being cared for?

First, if there are any signs of  sadness, resentment or depression, it is imperative you  start looking deep inside yourself and trying to figure out why you feel this way. Here is the kicker,  awareness is usually thehardest step. Once aware of the problem you can then do something about it.

What is the underlying reason you are feeling this way?

Example:

  • You’ve lost who “you are”? What I mean by this is that sometimes when we get busy in our busy-ness we are focusing so much on the others AND we forget what we were like and liked before family. So, you suddenly find that you no longer know what you like to do and what you want from life. You don’t know who “you” are because you have forgotten to nurture this part of yourself.
  • Maybe you are afraid of abandonment (children eventually spend more time with friends/grow up and move on) or maybe emotional abandonment?
  • Is there something in your past, an event that is causing your baggage to trigger some deep unresolved emotions that could be interfering in the intimacy of your current relationship (ex: abandonment, abuse, etc.?)
  • Does your spouse or children make comments or do things that chip away at your self esteem? It is important to figure out where the feelings are coming from. Once you pinpoint this it makes it easier to find a resolve and create some healing steps to feed and nurture YOUR needs.For example, if you found that you once had goals and dreams that faded away with the decision to have a family and now realize that you have lost who you are, then you could start with figuring out what it is you want to achieve in your life. Are there places you still want to travel to or skills you want to learn? Remember this is about finding things that you would want for yourself.Ask yourself what do you like to do and then start doing it on your own. Even if you say you do not know anymore what it is you like to do….simply begin by making a list of what you do NOT like to do ….and guess what…what you like to do is simply the opposite.

    Then you could spend time doing what you love which would build up your skills, self esteem and self confidence in the area that makes your heart sing and also for yourself.

    Now, most importantly you will be focusing at times on yourself, (as well as your family).

    In a relationship(s – kids and spouse), it is really beneficial to know what makes you happy and to be “complete” whether the other person(s) is there or not.

    Ask yourself:

    Is this a self esteem issue or a conflict between you and another in your family…if so the solutions will be different. You need to identify first, the root of your neediness.

    Also, figure out the trigger (how does this happen?). Pay attention to what is going on for you when this feeling arises. What circumstances contribute to the feelings in you? Then, how do you respond/react? Watch yourself like you’re a witness to the event. Paying attention to HOW these needy feelings get stirred up will be valuable to figuring out a long term solution.

    If this feeling arises whenever your spouse  is not paying enough attention to you, you can ask yourself …”does this mean he does not love me?”  Ask yourself “ Just because he is not paying enough attention to me, does that mean he does not love me?” Most likely you will then realize that this behaviour doesn’t mean this at all. That YOU created that thought or belief. YOU will have to then work through those emotions or get some help.

    And guess what – whether is it about your kids and the endless hours you give to them OR the lack of appreciation or love you feel is missing from your spouse….YOU will learn, by asking yourself this simple question if this is a belief your have about yourself as well. You might have veered so far from YOUR LIFE SCRIPT (path), you might be feeling that no one appreciates or loves you.

    You can simply change this old belief by writing it down and then a new one that reflects the truth.  Going forward you can catch yourself each time you are thinking the old belief,  and then say the new one. Ex: “Everyone is happy and busy doing their own thing and I can love myself by spending some time catching up on MY goals and dreams” (fill in what the goal or dream is at the end of the NEW belief statement).  It then becomes a matter of re-programming your thoughts.

    Remember this process may take some time….all habits begin with thoughts that are followed repetitively. YOU have the power and choice over what you think. It is easy to think the same old habitual thoughts…but it is freeing and empowering to think new productive thoughts that create a positive momentum in your life, create self confidence AND fulfill your dreams.

    Begin by exploring and don’t be afraid of the emotions that may arise. The emotions are a good thing…a release plus you will be create a better understanding of yourself and become much stronger. Being needy is okay…we all need each other…but when your neediness cripples your ability to enjoy your life and those you love then it is time to take a long look at what YOUR own needs are and HOW YOU can fulfill them yourself.

    If you would like to GAIN SOME CLARITY and begin to take back your life and fulfill YOUR dreams….Contact me at support@whenmomshappy.com and I will schedule for you a 30 min rapid coaching discovery session at a ONE TIME NO CHARGE RATE.  (regular 150.00)

    Copy and paste the following questions ….fill in the answers  forward to me and within 48 hours I will send you my available appt times for scheduling.

    1. What do you most want to
    change today?
    2. Have you tried to change
    this before?
    3. What have you attempted
    in the past that didn’t work?
    4. Why do you think it didn’t
    work?
    5. On a scale of 0-10, how
    important is it for you to
    achieve change today?
    6. What other areas of your
    life do you want to change
    (if any)?
    7. Full Name
    8. Email Address
    9. Phone #
    10. Time Zone

    Check off the areas you’d most
    like to work on…

    __ Business
    __ Weight Loss
    __ Relationship (get into one)
    __ Relationship (improve the one I’m in)
    __ Career Change
    __ Parenting Challenges
    __ Other

  • Time for Mommy Love: 5 Tips for Busy Working Moms

    Moms juggle everything, especially career and parenthood, so it can be hard to prioritize romance and intimacy with your partner, but this is ever so important to your relationship.

    If you have children you know this and with all the things that need to get done, intimacy may often take a lower spot on the list of priorities. But what you must know is, it is still a vital element of a healthy relationship.

    Here are 5 tips for rekindling the passion between you and your man.

    1. SCHEDULE DOWN TIME.

    Many busy working moms miss the time they spend away from home and their kids, so they enroll them in music or sports after school or on weekends. It’s great that kids have opportunities to enrich their lives and feed their potential, but too many activities can simply burnout your kids AND exhaust you, the parents. Instead of wearing yourself out driving your kids around to their extracurricular activities, why not save it for a couple of hours alone with your sweetie after the kids have gone to bed?

    2. BE PLAYFUL

    Relationship specialists suggest being playful is one of THE best ways to keep the emotional connection (and, ultimately – sex – alive) with your guy. Throw him a flirtatious look or send him a naughty text message that suggests what might be happening later, when the lights are off.

    3. DO SWEET LITTLE THINGS

    Making sweet or romantic gestures toward your partner is a sure-fire way to keep the flame ignited in a relationship. These gestures can be as simple as brushing your fingers over his tired brow while watching a family movie with the kids, definitely holding hands in public, and how about giving him a 6 second kiss with a warm embrace as soon as you see each other after a long day at work. (***A little love note tucked in his lunch bag or briefcase will remind him that you are thinking of him during his work day***).

    4. PLAN A ROMANTIC DATE NIGHT

    Marriage counselors, relationship experts, and couple resource websites say that date night, should  be number one on a couple’s priority list. As strange as it might feel, understand that it will eventually become a night that you and your man will look forward to. Maybe it is reservations at a classy restaurant or at just a night at home, just the two of you. Send the kids out for a sleepover, and turn ALL THE PHONES OFF!

    5. WORK OUT TOGETHER

    Sweating together is sexy…let’s face it, exercising with your partner does not only mean getting in shape together; it also gives you the time to communicate with your man more adequately. (You know the side by side relationship). By working out with him you will create a space for open dialogue, enjoy a better physique, and increased stamina. Having workouts together is truly a great way to strengthen your relationship.

    (Okay ….one extra tip for good measure) JUST DO IT!

    Don’t make him beg ladies…..making love to your man IS the number one way to show him love and have him feel loved BY you. I get it….with all the other places that you spend your energy during the day; you probably just want to grab a great book and then relax into sleep.

    If you feel like you’re forcing yourself to get “in the mood” after a long, tiring day, you are not alone. Most busy working moms are right there with you.

    Sometimes, the best thing to do is to just start kissing, and then do it! It might not be the most romantic approach, but sudden, unplanned intimate moments often yield satisfying results. And you will have just added interest to your relationship bank account…which will yield strong returns during the course of your relationship.

    Mona McClelland

    the “Busy Mom Mentor”

    ps. If you don’t know where to begin to eliminate the busy-ness and take back your life……..you just might need a little help ( I sure did).  In just 30 minutes you will know what to do tomorrow to create an extra hour in every day for you….to do whatever it is YOU WANT TO DO!

    Click Here: for your 30 min Rapid Coaching Discovery Session….because YOU are worth it.

    And remember…When Moms Happy…Everyone’s Happy!