Archive for April, 2012

Your Love is NOT Enough

He should just know what I need….How come I feel so alone in this
relationship? Things are so much different than before we were
married. Have you ever thought this, felt this or maybe even said
this out loud to your man (or when confiding in your girlfriend)?

I have…. I used to think that if he loved me he would do
everything and anything for me to make me happy and he seemed to.
Then as time went on I just didn’t feel as special or as loved.
Do you ever wonder if HE may be feeling the same way?

You see, it IS in ingrained in men to please you…..that brings
them the most happiness BUT there is a secret to making that all
work. Men are not mind readers. You must share with them your needs,
lovingly.

Oh, sure at the beginning, in the first year or even two of the
“honeymoon phase” of your relationship it seemed that your every
need was tended to and you felt as if nothing would ever be more
important to him. Then one day the veil lifted and those special
little quirky things he did that made him so lovable made you
cringe. You are not alone and I can tell you that these signs do
not mean you need to start packing your bags or find the “new”
Mr Right.

Oh yes, that secret I mentioned.  The info I am about to share with
you I learned through a book (a research book of sorts) called “For
Women Only
” by  Shaunti Feldhahn.

She wrote this book to help women understand what “we don’t get” about men.
She interviewed over 1000 men along with a nationwide survey, to help women
know that (yes can you believe this) Your  Love is Not Enough.

Here are four more revealing facts about your man that will help
him feel deeply cared for by you (and will deepen your relationship
forever).

1.Respect his judgement. Now this does not mean be a silent
wallflower. But most men wish their mate wouldn’t question their
knowledge or argue with their decisions all the time. Men feel like
their opinions and decisions are valued in every area of their
lives EXCEPT at home (Ouch).

2.Respect his abilities. (Oh I know ladies we always seem to know
a better way …. or at least think we do)?. Have confidence in his
general abilities of learning, application, fixing, rebuilding,
repair etc. without having to do it OUR way…because we know it
and think he does not!

3.Respect in communication.  Some things just push a man’s
buttons. This is about HOW we say, what we say to him. No matter
what we are saying, in the end it is what he is hearing that
matters.
Buffer what you say to him (be sensitive to how he may
interpret what you are saying…for Ex: instead of starting a
question to him with, Do you know? (which he interprets immediately
as you think he does NOT know)with  “Suppose you had to do… ( or
plan, or start) something (then add)…Do you know how to?  Hear how the
question is softened?
This is not about walking around on eggshells with your man…
but realizing that he has subtle sensitivities too.
(And don’t you want him to learn to be sensitive to you too?)

4.Respect in Public. The most painful thing for men to feel is to
be criticized or put down or even have their judgement questioned
in public. Hear this advice loudly ladies… “At a minimum, you
need to be supportive of him in public.” Even good-natured teasing
can be torture.
You want your man to love you and hold you up high
in his desires? Publicly praise him. Tell the world how wonderful
he is, how good he is at what he does (parenting, work, helping
you….whatever) and you will see how 10-fold this loving gesture
will come back home to you.

Simply put…respecting your man IS showing love to him…his way
(our way is different…ladies). We need to show him love his way.

To all you busy working moms….these simple tips will help you get
the love that you need from your man so you can feel
supported in doing what you do best for your family.

Remember to take a time out for mom today….you deserve it (and
everyday).


the “Busy Mom Mentor”
Life and Health Coach


Learn How to Eliminate Overwhelm, Stress and Burnout Now

Your Big Breakthrough?

I hired my first business/life coach in the spring of 2007. Our initial call was the first time I  realized that I had a lot of baggage to sift through and unload before I could ever even think of what it was I wanted to create in my life. I realized that day that what other people saw in me was NOT what I saw in myself (they saw a dynamic and vibrant woman – I felt like an imposter) and until that changed there would be no way I could ever out-perform the beliefs I had about myself.

I needed a major internal mindset overhaul. The only thing I knew for sure that was clear at that first meeting was that whatever I was going to do in my life I had to do within the limits of my children’s lives and schedules. They were 4 and 7 at that time and I was about to become a single mom.

When I look back, I see the perfection in all that has happened to bring me to this point now; CEO of When Moms Happy.com, coaching, mentoring and supporting other Busy Professional Moms to take back their lives and truly understand ALL that depends on their happiness, because we all know “when moms happy – everyone is happy”!

Hiring a coach was an important first step in the achievement of my dream. You can’t go it alone and expect to live your dreams. Please read today’s “anti-do-it-yourself” parable to discover why being smart and solo can be a problem in your life.

Mona McClelland

The ”Busy Mom Mentor”

Professional Health & Certified Life Coach

WhenMomsHappy.com

* If you are at all struggling to reach your goals and dreams, whatever they may be – take 5 minutes now and read the full article HERE.

The Importance of Coaching

By Dr. John Berardi
In the past, my default position, when butting up against a challenge or coming face to face with a problem, had been: “everyone out of my way, I’ll figure this out myself.”

Whether it was a relationship issue, a health issue, a business issue, or even a problem with my car, I figured I had enough intellectual firepower to tackle the issue. I’d buy some books, search Google, learn everything I needed to know, and then go about trying to fix my issue.

Yes, it feels empowering and righteous to be a do-it-yourself kind of person.

After all, I consider myself a pretty intelligent guy. I’ve earned a host of University degrees (including a PhD). I score in the top percentile on most intelligence tests. I run a successful and thriving company, one that does meaningful work. And I’m generally seen as the go-to guy for family and friends when it comes to solving problems.

However, this idea that I’m a “really smart guy” sometimes gets in my way. It’s also distracting, inefficient, and…well…not-so-smart.

I was reminded of this mission critical lesson the other day. I was running errands and returned home to find my home computer network broken down. Since my wife and I work from home offices, that’s a pretty big problem.

Being a “smart guy”, naturally, I’d set up my own home computer network. So, when I found it broken down, I began a “troubleshooting” process.

(I put troubleshooting in quotes for a reason. Having no formal training in network set-up or administration, I don’t really know what the heck I’m doing. So, what I call troubleshooting, others might call, stumbling around blindly in the dark).

I spent about an hour fiddling with settings and made some small improvements. But the network was still busted. And, based on previous experience, it’d likely take me hours (or more) to get this sorted out.

Fortunately, as I was just about to make a classic mistake and dig into this process, my wife and 2-year-old daughter knocked on my office door. It was quittin’ time for the day and they wanted to go to the park.

So, instead of ham-fistedly hacking my way though the network process, I called a local network technician I trust. (Someone who’s actually trained in the process). She came right over. I took my family to the park.

When we got back, she was gone and the network was fixed. And, not only was it fixed, it was working better than ever before, with more features and capabilities that would make our lives and our work easier.

I called her for a debriefing. Apparently, it took her only 30 minutes to fix the problem and enhance the network. (Remember, I’d already wasted 1 hour on the issue without resolving it).

I asked her to walk me through what she did. And, of course, her fix was something that would have never occurred to me. Even though I’ve set up networks and home offices in every house I’ve lived in for the last 15 years.

So, what’s the point?

Well, think of this story as an anti-do-it-yourself parable. I know, just saying that feels wrong to me. As an entrepreneur, I’m highly inclined toward do-it-yourself.

Yet, I’ve also learned that trying to do everything myself, even though I’m capable and “smart,” often distracts me from the most important things in my life.

Personally, these important things are my family, my own health and fitness, and my professional goals. They form my own “holy trinity” of meaning. And, in saying yes to anything else, I’m saying no to one of those things, if even for just a little while.

But that’s just at the best of times. (I’m lucky as my family, friends, and colleagues are willing to forgive me little diversions from the path).

At the worst of times, trying to do things myself can lead to massive inefficiencies, wasted effort, and tremendous frustration. I’ve seen this in other people too.

One of my closest friends – honestly, the most intelligent guy I’ve ever met – is a guy who’d struggled with “relationship issues” his entire dating life. Being a fellow entrepreneur and “smart guy” he figured he could think his way through these issues with that big brain of his. Never worked.

However, after getting some relationship coaching/counseling, he became a different guy. He ended up meeting the type of woman he’d always dreamed about being with. And he’s happily married to her today.

As a cool bonus, that coaching spilled out into other areas of his life, and other relationships too. Nowadays, he’s more calm, centered, and has a keen perspective that he never had in the past.

We’ve often discussed how important that coaching and direction really was for him. And, with 100% confidence, he tells me that the counseling didn’t just speed up his development. Rather, it took him to a place he’d never have gotten without guidance. His logical, “left-brained”, intelligence was killing this kind of progress.

In essence, being smart was the problem.

I see this all the time in the nutrition coaching business. My company runs the world’s largest nutrition coaching company. And, every day, really smart people come to us with their hands up in the air.

They’ve tried to get in shape, or improve their blood markers, on their own. And, although they’ve made some progress, it just feels too hard to sustain within the context of their lives. Plus, they often want more progress and simply can’t make it happen on their own.

This sounds familiar to me. It’s the networking problem all over again. Or the relationship problem. Smart people trying to figure things out on their own when help is just a phone call away.

In the end, here’s the point I’m trying to make.

Smart people – precisely because they’re smart – often think that they can single-handedly solve all their own problems by using their innate intelligence. As a result, they’re slow to ask for help and even slower to get coaching.

I totally get it. I was one of those guys for a long time. Thankfully, I’m not any more. I’ve learned that the smartest thing one can do is to drop the hero act and get some coaching.

It’s not just about speeding up the learning process. It’s about freeing up your time to say yes to the really important things in your life and no to everything else.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with my daughter at the park.

[Ed. Note: Dr. John Berardi is the director of the world's largest body nutrition coaching programs – Lean Eating for Men andLean Eating for Women. He's also a faculty member at Eastern Michigan University and the University of Texas. And a consultant for a host of professional sports teams, as well as Nike. You can reach him at http://www.precisionnutrition.com]

* Is Your World Crashing in on You? (good news for busy working moms)

What to do when your world feels like it is crashing in around you?
I know this is a common theme for a lot of moms……..this feeling
can sneak up on you and then BAMM, everything feels out of control.

How do you be everything for everybody? You know you want to and
sometimes you feel like you can do it all…but it just takes one
thing (okay 5 things) to tip the apple cart and there you are
feeling exhausted and defeated.

Today is one of those days. Let me share……(in readers digest
version of course):

*One daughter is approaching mid-tweens and is becoming rather sneaky
..ex: eating all little sister’s remaining Easter treats, comes clean,
little sister is crying.

*I am having empathy for one, while trying to make heads or tails of WHY the
other one would do that. The only answer from her is, ” I don’t
know”.

*The hubby’s children’s schedule was changed yesterday, his
EX pulls a fast one with her lawyer “all in the best interest of
the children of course” and he feels a myriad of emotions as you
can  imagine and I just want to stand on a soap box and say THIS IS
WRONG. Truly it felt like we were negotiating a house deal NOT a
co-parenting schedule…geesh.

*And finally, for you moms out there who are older, either pre-menopause
or right in it like me; No one ever said once I hit fifty, I was going
to wake up every morning and feel like I am 90. OMG, everything hurts! The legs, hips and
back pain is the most dramatic. (Guess I am fortunate….no hot
flashes, insomnia, or WILD mood swings (just moderate)….and on
every “menopausal forum” I find on line, all these women, like me,
are talking about these pains…BUT no one seems to be getting any help.

Trying to hold it all together in a big family…be the main
stay….is freakin’ hard at times. I GET IT.

K…. I am sure one or two of you can relate to me. The upside is
there are many things that you can do if your life starts running
away on you! The first step is this awareness of course. If you
don’t have the awareness, YOUR body will speak up…..I guarantee
it. So the key is to cultivate the awareness BEFORE you hit the
slippery slope.
Here is what you do…., if you are feeling frazzled at ANY point
in the day, this I can be a Micro Meditation of sorts….. or  what
I call the “ISNESS is the BUSINESS plan”.  There are 5 steps:

1. Think of a situation that is disturbing YOUR peace.
(could cause stress.)
2. Notice WHERE in your body you are FEELING it.
3.Give it LOVE (or at least acceptance)*Don’t judge or analyze -
don’t try to make it go away. Be with the feeling.
4.Zone into where it is most intense. (like a bull’s eye – stay
OUT of your head…stay in your body).
5.Stay present to it…if it seems like it is gone – then think of
the disturbing thought or situation – see if the feeling is gone.
(if yes – you have made it to the other side)

This can be done in minutes and the intention is to bring you back
to the NOW….back to what you are doing in the moment…because if
you are off in your head, overwhelmed with emotions with a floating to
do list in your brain….you are not present and can not be THERE
for anyone… This ‘Isness is the Business Plan’ can give you the
much needed time out in your day so you can collect your thoughts
and allow the feelings trapped inside your body to be  FIRST,
acknowledged and then they will leave.

Repeat this as many times as it takes, so when you think of the
disturbing situation you will NOT be emotionally troubled by it AND
you will be able to go into rational solution mode if necessary.
This phrase the Isness is the Business has become my Mantra and I
hope it helps you as much as it helps me and the clients I have
shared it with.

Have a wonderful Tuesday…..Make a Time Out for Mom everyday
(your family with love you for it …AND you will love them more too).

Mona McClelland
the “Busy Mom Mentor”

Ps. I will update you from time to time on my progress at handling
these awful Menopausal symptoms…man this is a whole new journey
into to health and wellness for me.  Next step….health food
store…to see how I can balance out what has now gone missing in
my body that its telling me loudly it needs. (I only wish it would
speak my language ….pain doesn’t always translate into English
that well….lol).

PPS If you haven’t heard it yet …why not? My Special Report  – grab it here – NOW.
“7 Secrets Every Mom Needs to Know to Instantly Eliminate,
Overwhelm, Stress & Burnout”

Do You Have the Energy?


I don’t know about you, but some days I feel like I never have
enough energy and think, “how am I going to make it through the
day?”…let alone the week (and it is ONLY just Monday).

One of the reasons I became a Professional Health Coach, is because
I had significant health  problems stemming from a poor digestive
system since I was in my early 20s ( I am now 50). AND when I had my
children,I thought OMG, how am I ever going to have enough energy to do
raise these children and take care of myself…. I was in bad shape…
I could barely drag myself out of bed in the morning…but I knew
I had two little people depending on me… thank God otherwise I might
still be in bed.

So I continued to study and learn what worked best for my body and
how I could correct “naturally” these significant health issues and
take care of my children.

It has been a dream of mine to share all that I have done with
other moms…then there became the challenge of finding the time
to put it all together in a program or course…where was that
time going come from?

Miraculously, God works in mysterious and great ways as into my
path came a woman by the name of Isabel de los Rios….She put together a
program designed to burn fat….increase energy…all with few dietary
changes.

Her program, lifestyle eating plan and “mom” designation all met
the aspects of what I did and continue to do to help myself stay slim and
energized so I can take care of those I love.

I invite you to meet Isabel de los Rios….you are going to love
hearing about her story, her children and just wait to see HOW great she
looks.

Click HERE to meet Isabel.

Her Diet Solution Program is well laid out and simple and she has a created a
support community for her members.

Find more energy now, naturally!


Professional Health Coach
Certified Life Coach
Busy Mom Mentor